How to Stop Attracting Bad Dates


Have you ever felt like the only potential romantic partners you’re attracting are the WRONG ones?

If so, you’re not alone. I see tons of people who just keep on meeting the type of person they don’t want to be involved with. The story goes something like this:

You’ve had a break up. He (or she) betrayed you, or treated you terribly. Or, you thought it was going somewhere, and then all of a sudden it wasn’t. Your heart is broken, and you didn’t want to have this life experience. It sucked.

But, time has gone by, and now you’re ready for a new start. A new person enters into your life. Everything seems great, and then you find out they’re a player, or emotionally unavailable, or married, or not ideal in some way or another. So it ends, and after a while you meet someone else. And the same story unfolds.

And again.

And again.

Why does this keep happening?

I’ll tell you why. You are magnetically attracting a certain type of person into your life, a person that will enable you to live the same experience all over again. Maybe it won’t be an exact clone of that experience, but the way you feel will be the same. Sad. Alone. Devastated. Single.

Everything is made of energy. We all know that, right? And what you think about, and expect, is what you attract. Now, you don’t LOGICALLY want to attract a bad date, but, chances are, because you had a very painful experience, you have a lot of emotional energy and fear around the possibility that you will have to go through that pain again. That emotional energy is so powerful that it settles down into your subconscious mind, which begins to accept this as the truth, and makes certain that you repeat this experience again and again, so that you feel the same way.

Obviously, everyone is different. Some people have deep-seated issues around romantic relationships based on modeling they received from their parents and family members growing up. Others have problems with self-love. Some had traumatic romantic experiences that they believe just “ruined” them for life. And, of course, these are just a few examples – there are hundreds of reasons why people magnetically attract unpleasant experiences into their lives.

Whatever the case is for you, you can stop attracting bad dates. You don’t have to carry on with a negative cycle if you don’t like it. Here are three steps to try that will help:

1. Find out what signal you’re sending out to prospective romantic partners:

What does your vibe say about you? Are you confident, happy, and vibrant? Or are you timid, frightened, and sad? Regardless of how you feel while you’re on a date, your emotional databanks (an energetic history of how you feel about yourself and your life) set up a vibration that emits a strong signal to others, who sense it and react to you accordingly. What signal are you sending out? Is it one that says “Take advantage of me, I’m wounded!” or “I love myself, I love my life, and you’d be lucky to be with me!”? If you’re not sure, ask friends and family for feedback. Another way to tell is to check yourself out in a window or mirror when you’re out. Do you like your reflection? What does it say about you? If you could change it, what would you change?

2. Re-program your subconscious mind.

Your subconscious mind makes sure that your life experiences match the beliefs you have about yourself. If you believe you’re not worthy of unconditional love, guess what? You won’t receive it. If you’re with someone who wants to give it, you’ll find a way to sabotage it. If you’d like to read more about re-programming your subconscious mind, I recommend Joseph Murphy’s book, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind. 

3. Lavish yourself with love.

You tell the world what to think of you. You can walk around declaring “I’m a loser!” and the world will echo back, “Yes, you’re a loser!” Conversely, you can walk around declaring “I’m a winner!” and the world will echo back, “Yes, you’re a winner!” You’re the ONLY ONE who can change the image you’re projecting out to the world, and in this, you have all of the power. So practice lavishing yourself with love, and see what happens.

Have you ever felt like you’ve been attracting the wrong type of person or experience into your life? If so, how did you stop the cycle?