Do you like Disney movies? I do! And the new ones they are making, like Mulan and Frozen, are so empowering for young people. I love that. Older movies, however, like Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty, conditioned many of us to believe something not altogether positive about soul mates and life partners.
I hear a LOT about what people go through doing intuitive work. The most prevalent is the belief that a soul mate is someone with whom you will have a match made in heaven and live happily ever after.
When that doesn’t happen, some people become very upset. A common question that comes up in readings is, “Why did this happen?” and “Why did (or do) I have to be with this person?”
One of the clearest explanations that I have discovered that answers this dilemma is that there are soul mates who are fun and wonderful, and there are soul mates who teach challenging life lessons.
The more we understand that, the clearer we can be about who we are, and what we are here to learn. Some of the most triggering soul mates force us to grow, to resolve karma, and to heal ourselves. In many cases, they force us to heal from the pain we went through because of them!
If you are in a situation where it’s not a walk in the park, but you are bonded with that person, one of the best things you can do is ask how you can grow from the situation. If you look for the lesson and the gift, you’ll start to discover what patterns and cycles need to break so that you can ultimately get to where you want to be in life.
For some people, a realization that they don’t need to stay with a pain-causing soul mate is a part of that lesson. They can then forgive the person, forgive themselves, and move on. Spiritually speaking, this is more empowering than feeling the energy of anger and hatred, then parting ways without working on forgiveness and understanding.
I understand how tormenting it can be to be with someone who causes you pain. I have counseled people who have been through hell and back in relationships. Sometimes, however, the person who causes the pain is really a powerful, loving teacher in disguise. A foil, if you will…and on the other side, the spirit is indeed a true soul mate and friend.
It would be wonderful if we didn’t have to suffer. But in some cases, being with the perfect companion can cause us to be complacent and comfortable. While many teachers say we are here to be happy, I believe we are here to learn, grow, and evolve.
A person who prompts you to look within and do the work to transform, even if that transformation means standing up for yourself and leaving the situation, is truly a catalyst for growth. If we can think of things in these terms, we can more easily understand situations that we don’t love, but that are asking us to grow.