If you’ve ever found yourself thinking about someone too much, or maybe even obsessing a little about them, you are not alone. It’s a common thing that a lot of people go through, and I’ve seen it happen time and time again in my practice as an intuitive.
While it’s perfectly normal to have these experiences every now and then, it can be really difficult to cope when you find your thoughts all-encompassing, or when the person you’re thinking about is not returning your affections. When that happens, it’s a cue for you to dig deeper, focus on yourself, and heal/resolve what comes up. Oftentimes, the best thing you can do to stop the cycle of thinking about someone is to repair your self-esteem.
In fact, when I first started doing readings professionally, I had so many people coming to me with this issue that I created a program called Get Him Off Your Mind, which is basically a bootcamp to wash someone out of your system. So, again, if you are experiencing this, you are NOT alone!
Ultimately, if you work on increasing your self-worth and pulling your energy back from the other person and the perceived rejection or non-return of your attention and affection, you will be able to break the cycle.
Obsessing about someone who doesn’t return the favor doesn’t feel good. It can leave you quite angsty, with feelings of longing and rejection: feeling like you don’t have value and you don’t have worth.
In order to turn that energy around, you have to be able to feed yourself. Think about how awesome you are, what a catch you are, how amazing you are. How not being with you or noticing you is ultimately their loss. While that is easier said than done, it helps to know that, for most people, the root of these issues stem from the past; childhood events and traumas, emotion-filled experiences that cause you to feel insecure.
If you feel these issues are too much to handle or too big for you to cope with and heal on your own, by all means, work with an intuitive, a hypnotherapist, an energy healer or a traditional therapist – anyone who you trust to help you with raising your self esteem and clearing past traumas. And for the record, traumas don’t have to be one big major event; a series of little events cause trauma as well. So if, for example, you were raised by a verbally abusive person who crushed your self-worth on a steady and regular basis, that absolutely counts as a trauma and is just as damaging as one major traumatic event would be, if not more.
Aside from working with a professional to help heal and repair your self-esteem, here are some other things you can do:
- Practice affirmations: Look in the mirror and say “You’re gorgeous/handsome. A catch! What an amazing, wonderful, awesome person you are!”
- Write out your positive traits and read them before bed – re-program your self-esteem at bedtime
- Clear your closet of old, shabby, outdated or dull items and start curating your wardrobe with items that make you look and feel your best
- Do fun and entertaining physical exercise and bodywork
- Eat to nourish your body
- Treat yourself well and groom yourself. Your body is a temple, so treat it like one!
- Learn how to do new things, get out of your comfort zone, go to new places, and treat yourself to new experiences.
- Do the things that are on your bucket list. Make a bucket list if you don’t have one, and then get right to it!
- Constantly re-affirm that you are amazing and awesome. Build yourself up!
Know that it is going to take time, especially if you have become so used to thinking about that person. Your thoughts are like cravings – if you can wait, they will pass, sort of like when you go on a diet. Eventually you will get better and better at conquering those cravings, and you will be OK.
And as a side note, it might help to know that you may not get the closure you’re seeking. The dignity of an explanation as to why someone stopped calling or texting or returning your affections is something not a lot of people get from the object of their desires. If this has happened to you, you can try to do some journaling and write it all out for yourself and release it, rip it up, burn it up throw it away to get all of that energy out of your system.
Then, put your attention back on yourself and raise yourself up!
If you’re looking for further resources, I created a program called Reinvent Your Self-Image to help with this too; it’s like a makeover from the inside out, with energy healings and practices and techniques to help you shift your energy and create a new outer image to match the truth of your spirit, your inner self.
Thanks for reading and watching. And remember, if there’s anything in your life that you would like assistance with, I’m here to help with readings, energy healings, on-demand meditations and my psychic development training program. So just reach out!