Boundaries with People you Know

Last week I spoke about sensitive healers needing strong boundaries. This week, let’s continue the conversation, focusing on how some loved ones may react when you start enforcing your boundaries.

Many of us who are sensitive and on the path of personal development find we need to work on boundaries. The reasons for lack of boundaries are far and wide! But what sometimes happens when we finally start saying “No” and “This doesn’t work for me” is that people we have known for a really long time can get very angry with us.

People like you to be the way they have always expected you to be. You’ve settled into a familiar dynamic. When you change, it can be scary, even if they know this is something you are working on. They may do all kinds of things to get you to go back to the old way. They may even accuse you of being narcissistic or having other awful character traits you do not possess.

Your job is to stand firm in your self-respect and to know and trust that you are not what they say you are. And that you are putting yourself first.

A client I worked with recently had a serious health issue and set a boundary regarding a demanding project with an old friend. The friend got very angry with my client and didn’t consider health as a factor in her ability to function. She was aware my client had a health issue, but never did ask more about it. The client is now re-evaluating the friendship, seeing this other person in a different light.

Be firm. If they are not understanding of your needs, reconsider your commitment to the relationship. You are not the same person you were before.

Another client had a friend who constantly flaked. She told the person how deeply this hurt her and asked her not to do it. The friend then did it 3 times in a row. My client got angry, the friend flipped out and accused my client of being hurtful – she flipped the whole thing around. That’s when you know that person is toxic and has to go.

Have you had to work on boundaries with loved ones? How did it go? Please share in the comments!

Thanks so much for reading and watching, and I’ll see you next time.