Zoo Animals: A Psychic Reading

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I don’t really like zoos. There’s just something unsettling to me about human beings gawking and guffawing at beautiful wild animals trapped behind bars. I wish that they were back in their natural habitats in the wild. Yet, I understand that by keeping animals in zoos, we’re saving many endangered species, and that these natural habitats that animals belong in are actually dangerous to their well-being (poachers, shrinking forests, land development, etc). But then that makes me sad, too. Humans are so greedy, and we think we’re the most intelligent species on the planet – just as we thought, years ago, that the sun revolved around the earth. Animals are much more intelligent than we give them credit for, and just because we have “rational minds” and can start wars and destroy things doesn’t mean we are any higher on the hierarchical scale than other sentient beings.

We recently took 2.5 year old Ivan to the Safari Park in San Diego. It’s a beautiful place, and the animals are very well-cared for. I like it a lot better than the LA Zoo, which seems to be teeming with people drinking slurpies and chowing down on kettle corn whilst ogling animals who are in fact more intelligent than they are.

Because the LA Zoo is so dismal, I just felt horrible for the animals and wanted to get the hell out of there. The Sarari Park was much nicer, and although the animals weren’t thrilled to be there, they did seem a bit more tolerant of their surroundings, and I was able to get some psychic impressions from them. Here is my simple psychic take on what some of the animals at the Safari Park were thinking and feeling:

Elephants:

We like it here. We are together. The people who take care of us are nice and sometimes they make us laugh. We understand that we are here for our safety, because you want to protect us. We don’t like you staring at us too much, but then, we can walk away because we have a big area to wander around in, and we have each other. We love our elephant family. You go home at 5, and we have the whole evening and early morning to ourselves. We feel comfortable and at ease.

Giraffes:

We need more space to walk around in and more trees. We don’t like this area with the tram that goes around. We wish there were more trees.

Lions:

We don’t care, really, if you stare at us, you simpering idiots. We will rest. When we wake up, you will still be staring at us, and we don’t care. We wish we could run wild and chase our prey, but really, it’s so easy when the people who work here feed us. We’re never hungry. It would be fun to have more space to run around in. We could devour you if we wanted to, but right now, we are bored. Let’s nap.

Meerkcats:

You are funny! Hi funny people! We like it here. We are together and we have fun and there is always food! You stare at us but you can’t catch us!

Gorillas:
 
Here we are again, on this intolerable stage. Why is our habitat a stage? You buffoons. You watch us eat. You watch us walk around. For some reason, we amuse you and make you laugh. You disgust us. Do you want amusement? Here – look at my ass. I will turn around and stick my ASS in your FACE. You fools. We need more privacy. These people are annoying. Will they never go away? Sometimes we can pretend they’re not there. If only they were only here for an hour or so each day, and not the whole, damned, blessed long day.

Rhinoceri:

It’s good to rest.

Monkeys (in general – I didn’t have time to differentiate species because Ivan was demanding a slurpie – yep, we are those people slurping drinks and staring at the animals):

Those monkeys in clothes love to look at us! We’re awesome! Watch, watch guys. I will get up close to that monkey over there on the other side of our net, and then when he’s staring at me with his mouth wide open, I will PEE at HIM!!!! Ha ha!!! Look, I did it!! Did you see how scared he was? He jumped back!! And he screamed! Then he laughed. I love that trick! Stupid monkeys in clothes. They wish they could climb and have fun like us. Too bad. Let’s go eat!

That’s my psychic take. What do you think zoo animals are thinking?


Say Readers...

  • Ryan Anys   

    What a genuine and tragically beautiful observation!

    I close my eyes and feel the same vibe of isolation and despair emanating from these majestic beasts, languishing in captivity.

    Many thx for sharing!