The Music of My Life


Music is a pure form of energetic vibration. Like intuition, it’s not something you can literally see or touch, but if you let it, it can transform your life.

The energy of music literally speaks to your soul. Music can shift your vibes, bringing you up, or easing you down. Fast-paced music will get you through a workout; slow-paced, mellow music will help you meditate. Music is and has been so intrinsic to my daily existence that I felt like sharing a brief history of my life’s soundtrack.

I started to develop my own musical tastes in 4th grade with songs like Push It by Salt-N-Pepa (we were all singing it but nobody knew it was naughty) and Walk Like an Egyptian by the Bangles. In 5th and 6th grades I discovered the Pet Shop Boys, Pop goes the World by Men Without Hats, Madonna, New Order, Erasure, OMD, Duran Duran, and Depeche Mode. If I listen to certain songs now, I’m transported right back to the playground at RD White Elementary School in Glendale, eating counterfeit Willy Wonka candy and playing a mean game of handball.

I had a major crush on Depeche Mode throughout Junior High, and as my mom’s cancer got progressively worse, I’d distract myself by daydreaming about Dave Gahan and that other guy, Alan something. I also thought a couple of the Duran Duran dudes were cute.

After my mom died, I catapulted into my Goth era, which was extremely apropos for what I was going through at the time. I wore all black, dyed my hair purple, and spent hours crying to This Mortal Coil. Even now, I can’t listen to the album It’ll End in Tears without crying. It slays me. Good days during that horribly sad, painful era were to the tune of Siouxsie and the Banshees, the Thrill Kill Kult, the Pixies (not goth but I loved them and still think they’re one of the best bands ever), the Cocteau Twins, Skinny Puppy, and more.

Things started to improve when I got to college, and my first year at UCLA was a blast. I finally had freedom, and boy did I make the most of it. Dreams by The Cranberries was the rage right when we were moving in to the dorms. The final years of college and first years of working life were defined by Pulp, Massive Attack, Moby, Looper, the Magnetic Fields, and more.

I didn’t discover hip hop until after I got married. In the past, I’d been so closed to anything non-alternative that I hadn’t even given it a chance. The Notorious B.I.G. changed my life, and my friends cracked up when I drove my fancy white Jeep Grand Cherokee with the tan leather interior blasting Gimme the Loot. People are still surprised to find that I love hip hop. My last corporate marketing job was marked by Tupak, Jay-Z, Yin Yang Twins, Busta Rhymes, Wolfpack, and 50 Cent (along with all the other stuff I liked). It’s good bad-ass music for when you need to toughen up, and during this era of my life, I was transitioning from doing mainstream, “normal” work, to becoming an intuitive consultant and working for myself. I needed all the toughening up I could get, and hip hop, albeit the antithesis to New Age dogma, worked.

Nowadays, I’m always on the lookout for new music to add to the old. One of the most magnificent moments of my life occurred when I was all alone, running on a plateau overlooking the ocean in Kaikoura, New Zealand. There wasn’t a soul in sight, and it was just me, the earth, the sky and the sea. The music was Private Life by Polyamorous Affair, and it was perfect.

My all-time classic loves include artists like Edith Piaf, Beethoven (I adore the 6th and 7th symphonies), Strauss, Tom Petty, the Rolling Stones, Roxy Music, De la Soul, the Beach Boys, the soundtracks to Amelie, Rushmore, and The Sound of Music, and I’m sure I’m leaving out tons and tons and tons more. I will never forget the fact that I craved listening to The Cramps and Ravel’s Bolero more during my pregnancy than I did most foods, and I can’t wait to see what music Baby Ivan will lean towards.

What’s the soundtrack to your life? If you need to make some changes, what kind of music will help get you through?

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  • Anonymous   

    Love your blog and the Spirit Guides class. Check out Midnight Marauders by Joe Dukie and DJ Fitchie. Thanks for putting yourself out there. Many Blessings to you and your family.