Self-Acceptance: If not Now, When?


A very sweet, pretty woman in her 60’s who had the loveliest energy made an appointment to see me for a chakra healing. During her session, an issue came up about her lack of self-appreciation appearance-wise, and acceptance of her sexual energy, her inner goddess. Because of the environment in which she’d been raised as a little girl, her 2nd chakra, the center of creative life force energy, was closed off. Although she was happily married to a very good, kind, handsome man, she felt frustrated due to this restriction of her divine feminine energy. Through the course of her session we did energy work to release limiting beliefs and pictures, and she felt lighter, more alive, and more vibrant afterwards. By the time were were finished, she actually looked more radiant. This was because we cleared away the dull, closed off energy and created more space for her true spirit to shine through her physical body.

What this woman was dealing with happens to 99% of the women I see, from age 18 to 80, regardless of what they look like. For some of us, negative influences in childhood play a big factor in how we relate to ourselves. For others, maybe it’s because we grew up playing with Barbie as the ideal female role model, or maybe it’s because feminine energy has been “put in its place” for so many hundreds of thousands of years that we’re just tapping into the all-encompassing collective consciousness. I’m sad to say that I’ve grappled with all of these influences quite a bit. When I was in 4th grade, a cute-ish popular boy said to me, and I quote: “You are SO ugly. You look like a witch, with your big, ugly witch nose and your big, ugly witch chin.” I’ve never forgotten it. On top of this, Nana, the older lady who helped my mom raise me, was very, very strict, verbally abusive, and repressive. The messaging I received about my appearance and creative life force energy (god forbid anyone mention sexuality) was horribly negative. Inner goddess – are you kidding? I had a serious bout of anorexia at 14 after she told me I had a “bubble butt.” Though Nana been out of my life for years, and I have received countless lovely compliments that have more than made up for the evil words of that little boy, I still have issues with my appearance. Which is a shame, because I’m not getting any younger. I want to be happy with how I look and feel every moment of my life. My spirit shines more when I feel good about the body it resides in. My spirit chose this vessel for a reason. And if I don’t start liking myself now, then when? Will I finally feel OK with how I look when I’m 60? Will I look back at pictures of myself now and think, “Wow, I didn’t look so bad after all.” Or will I choose to be OK with myself now, at this very moment?

When we negate our own true beauty, it creates a block of energy that restricts the very energy of our spirit from flowing throughout our bodies. In many cases, this block appears as a thick film that covers the aura and hides our light not only from ourselves, but from the rest of the world as well.

In my soul mates workshop, I lead participants through a meditation that raises their vibration to the point where they are literally shining with brilliant, gorgeous energy. And when they leave the class, other people notice. One girl said she went to a barbeque afterwards and men were drawn to her like moths to a flame. It’s all about energy. Once you change up what you’re offering, the souls of other people notice, and are drawn to your beautiful light.

Join me in starting a movement for ourselves to stop nit-picking about things we hate about our bodies, in believing negative messaging our family fed us, or living life as if we’re still the plum ugliest or fattest kids on the playground. Let’s make a conscious effort to wholly love and accept ourselves as brilliant spirits – pure, true, clean vibrant sparkly light beings – occupying  beautiful earthly vessels that we love and respect. Let’s do it every day, starting today.

Because if not now, when?