I had a session yesterday with another amazing, wonderful repeat client. She’s been struggling with making a major, huge, life-altering decision for about – well, two years now, and while she agreed with and understood the advice and insight that came through in this and other sessions, it’s taken her time to be really good and ready to take the steps she needs to take in order to move her life forward.
Sometimes life makes these big decisions for us. Is that easier? In a way, yes, and in a way, no. I know this is a dramatic analogy, but I’m going to say it anyway. It’s like when someone you love dies suddenly, with no warning, or goes slowly, so that you have time to prepare for life without them. When that person dies suddenly, you don’t have time to think about or worry or wonder what life will be like when they’re gone. It’s just – suddenly, they’re gone, and you’re in the middle of it, shocked and terrified, trying to figure out where the ground beneath you went. When someone prepares to die more slowly, you have time to worry, to cry, to muse, to be in the middle of wondering what it will be like when they are gone, to mourn the little time you have left together, and to mentally prepare yourself for the inevitable. I wouldn’t say either is better than the other. They are just ways things happen.
There are big life lessons involved, of course, with how we conduct our lives here on Earth. Sometimes we can decide when and where and how we’re going to make changes. We can take ten years to make a move, or decide to never do it. I know people who have been in miserable jobs for years and years on end, complaining like there’s no tomorrow about how unhappy they are, but never doing anything about it. Suddenly, they’re ready to retire. And they never did take that risk, or see about that other opportunity. That part of their life is done. Perhaps the lesson there is seeing what you do with yourself when you do hold the reigns. Will you step out and take charge? Or will you sit there on your bum like a bump on a log while your dreams just float away?
That’s where this whole “sudden change out of our control” thing comes in handy. Let’s say you were all set to stew in misery at that job forever, but one of your lessons in this life was to be forced to make a change if you weren’t going to do it your own self. Without warning, you get fired, or laid off. You’re forced to move in a different direction, and a whole new life opens up before you. You didn’t physically intend to make that change, but it happened.
We don’t really control all aspects of our life. There are too many variables at hand. But we can do things to light a fire and help ourselves get unstuck if we need to. For starters, we can ask for drama-free help from the Universe to move us along onto the right path towards fulfillment. I think that’s a good way to go. Another thing we can do is make a wish list of how we want to move forward, of changes we want to make. We can break those things down into little do-able steps that will slowly and comfortably propel us forward. Who knows: there may be a sudden lightening bolt of shocking change that might startle us out of our cages and into a vortex of fast-paced change – but if we try to remain level and clear, if we meditate and try to stay zen and calm, we’ll get through it and find ourselves on higher ground.
My client is taking the slow and steady path, preparing herself for this change. She’s finally at the point where it will be bearable. She realizes now that what will happen after she makes this decision will be a lot better than living the way she is currently living. I’m so excited for her. It’s a big move, but she’s managing it so well. She’s taking care of herself, and it’s inspiring.