Everyone has family issues, whether you can see it on the outside or not. I hear the truth of what people are really going though in the work that I do, so I know. Nothing shocks me, and my job is to remain totally neutral, but the things I’ve heard would make any person really, really, really sad!
At least I’ve learned one HUGE spiritual truth about why we all have so much suffering related to the families we’re born into.
But before that, here are a few short examples of bummer family situations:
D., 34, was adopted from India and brought to live in Bel Air as an infant. Her adoption story is the best: beautiful family, beautiful home, just a lovely childhood (although her parents fought constantly). But since her adoptive father died, things have changed, and she is now being tormented, gossiped about, and just completely ridiculed by her adoptive mother. To the point where now her mother is telling everyone that when she dies, she doesn’t want D. to come to her funeral.
R. was raised in complete poverty when her father walked out on all 7 kids when she was a baby. She’s the only one of all 7 to go to college. Her mother re-married at age 65, to a man who isn’t really interested in her grown up kids. Though her father is still alive, he doesn’t feel responsible for either having a relationship with, or even knowing, his 7 children.
The L. family has constant in-fighting, feuds, sibling rivalries, and family warfare. Everyone has something nasty to say about everyone else, all behind each other’s backs. This is the way it’s always been, and this is probably the way it always will be.
S.’s mother constantly criticizes and belittles her, making comments about her weight, her failed marriage, her home, her clothes, the very essence of her being.
M.’s young stepmother pretends to treat her well, but subtly manipulates her father so that the two can’t maintain their relationship. She wants the world to think she’s graceful and kind and loving, but M. knows she his harboring loads of resentment, and it’s causing M. to be distanced from her father, which really hurts her.
Y.’s mother died, and she never knew her aunts and uncles. When her grandmother died, they didn’t think to naturally share the inheritance with motherless Y. Instead, they tried to cut her out of it completely, although she hadn’t even thought to ask for anything.
My energy just plummeted writing this! What a bummer! I just told snippets of a FEW of the many true stories I’ve heard about family dramas. There are many more that are salacious, long-winded, and very sad.
On to the hopeful stuff.
We pick the family situations we will come into before we are born. God gave us free will, which is a HUGE big deal, so basically we can make whatever choices we want to make and do whatever we want to do in this lifetime. YAY! But we have to start with some kind of canvas, so to speak.
And many of our souls want to finish up with some karma, or solve some problems, or have some meaty issues to deal with, in order to move forward in our lives. Issues that we have to keep working on in order to learn to take the high road, raise our vibrations, say no to negativity, and honor our spirit. Major soul growth lessons!!!
So if you have AWFUL family problems, it’s because you needed to in order to fulfill your purpose and mission in this life. You chose to meet these people (a-gain) and, despite the odds, create a peaceful, harmonious situation in your own heart. I stress in your own heart, because in many cases, your adversaries, family or not, will NOT let you change the dynamic into something better. It’s a power thing, and they want to have the power to make things miserable or to make sure you stay unhappy.
Sometimes that means you will need to get distance from them, and that’s OK, as long as you forgive, let go, and don’t take it personally, no matter how personal it is.
If you’ve been wronged, the only thing you can do is forgive, and try to feel compassion and unconditional love, for yourself, and for them.
Holding on to any other emotion, no matter how right and justified you feel, will only cause you pain, and when you’re in pain, that means you are out of sync with your God-given natural harmony. That also means the karma probably hasn’t been broken, and the cycle will most likely continue. NOOOO!!!
If you learn the lesson, solve the problem, and break the cycle in this lifetime, with love and light, then you won’t have to do this again next time around.
Here’s to that!!!!
Do you have family problems? If so, what are they? How have you learned to deal with them? Do you find any particular technique to be helpful?