We all have people in our lives who criticize us. It’s hard to have a healthy sense of self-esteem when you sense or know that friends, family, and co-workers have not-so-nice things to say about you. Many people ask me, in their sessions, why one person or another is critical of them. Every case is different, but it’s safe to say that dealing with critics who have things to say about your personality, your actions, your work, or just who you are in general, is a universal theme.
My friend recently gave me a bunch of issues of Hello Magazine, a giant, glossy British tabloid that we both love. Kate Middleton, or Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, is everywhere, and recent issues are all about the new baby, little Prince George. I think she’s beautiful, kind, and graceful, and her family is wonderful. But I realized something recently that kind of surprised me: not everyone likes her. In fact, the very idea that she’s a “commoner,” that her mother was once a stewardess, and that she is very much “new money” must get her tons of criticism amongst the royals, who are very proud of their bloodlines, their massive wealth and extensive history that goes back for generations. Before she married Prince William, people called her “Waitey Katey” because she dated him for so long. Others said her mother eagerly pushed her to trap William and get him to marry her. There are tons of gossips and critics who have all kinds of nasty things to say about Kate and her family.
How does Kate handle it? She projects a natural sense of confidence, grace, and ease. She looks great wherever she goes. She has a good sense of style and wears what she likes (Hello is always talking about her “high street” fashion, which means she buys clothes off the rack, and not so much couture, as most nobility do). Kate surrounds herself with her family and friends, people who know and love her. She also knows there are tons of “commoners” for whom she symbolizes hope and possibilities. Her family created their own fortune and she married a prince; it gives people the notion that they can achieve anything, too. She represents something magical, and many are inspired by her story. I don’t know what it’s like mingling with royalty, but wherever she is, Kate holds her own with dignity. She’s married a great person, and they love each other. He loves her family too, who are warm, kind, and wonderful (yep, there are lots of details in Hello magazine!).
Some people live to gossip, share dirt on others, pick people apart, and zoom in on every flaw. But what does that say about where their consciousness is? When they’re being critical, their vibration is down.
It’s kind of like wallowing around in a garbage bin. So those people who are talking crap about you are essentially wallowing in an energetic pile pile of muck and mire. Yuck! When you worry about what they’re saying, you’re vibe is going down low, too. It doesn’t help you at all.
Rather than get caught up in what your critics are doing or saying, take a couple of steps back and think about who they are to judge in the first place. They’re no better than you are! They’re lost, confused, and upset; otherwise, why would they be so mean and negative? And, I bet you anything you’re not the only one they’re criticizing. Once you get a handle on just where they’re coming from, take the reigns and stop letting your mind get carried away with worrying about what they’re saying about you.
Then, surround yourself with people who know who your spirit is and who truly love and appreciate you. The highest vibrational emotion is love. All-encompassing, “I’m cool with you and I see you for who you really are” love. Summon this vibration for yourself, too, and think about why you love yourself and your spirit as you surround yourself with the energy of love.
Think about the people you love, and why you love and appreciate them. This is what makes life great. Love, joy, passion. This is the vibrational level your spirit just adores. When you’re on this wavelength, the world is your oyster. This is the true essence of the divine, and when you’re in this space, life is the best it can be. We all get down sometimes, and we all have critics. But you can’t let them define you. You define who you are, not them. You can choose our own thoughts and emotions, and you can decide how you perceive yourself.
That’s what really matters.